"Poetry is the music of the soul, and, above all, of great and feeling souls." - Voltaire
Small Talk
The creature known as Small Talk has been around since the beginning of human interaction but has only come to be the monster it is today around the 20th century. While some say his intentions are pure, some have a different view. He remains invisible to many, but to a few unlucky people known as introverts, the Small Talk is a frightening sight. Edward Rolen, a leading expert in the field of odd creatures, speculates as to why the introverts are most affected. “The Small Talk overwhelms introverts with its bright yellow skin used to catch its unsuspecting victims in the spotlight. Its large blue eyes peer into ones soul to increase discomfort and its gaping jaw is filled with razor sharp idle chatter.” This fearsome creature, though physically harmless, leaves those who were fortunate enough not to succumb to its trivial discussions about the weather, in no shape to tell the tale. One such survivor, who wishes to remain nameless, simply looked at the interviewer with frightened eyes when asked to retell the encounter. When asked how she survived, she whispered "I smiled and nodded." This has been accepted as the best defense against these monsters. In order to avoid contact with the Small Talk, it is advised to remain indoors at all times.
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hahahha. This is just so good. so good. I really love this, because I think everyone can agree that small talk just sucks. This was a great way to express what a "monster," it really is. There were a few parts that were really good. For example, "
ReplyDeleteWhen asked how she survived, she whispered 'I smiled and nodded.' This has been taken to be the best defense against these monsters."
That line was perfect. I found myself cringing at the thought of two people discussing the weather, while one just nods and smiles. You painted a really clear picture, and it felt so relatable. I also loved, "In order to avoid contact with the Small Talk, it is advised to remain indoors at all times." Not only is it funny, but unfortunately, is true. There is no way to escape it when in contact with people. I didn't like the "ice cream and netflix," part. I thought it was too clique of a scene. And because the parts before that line were so creative, and unique, that line seemed so boring. Other than that, I was on the floor laughing. Great job.
cliche' ****
DeleteFinally! Someone calling out small talk for what it is: a monster! You really capitalize on comedic twists, like in the line "Few have survived the encounter and those who were fortunate enough not to succumb to trivial discussions about the weather, were left in no shape to tell the tale"-- it's surprising and funny, and you do that throughout. To keep with the style of the third party academic speaker, I would suggest taking out some of the adjectives such as "trivial" in "trivial discussions" and "idle" in "idle chatter"-- to the unsuspecting introvert it might be trivial or idle, but to the anthropologist, it would just be discussion and chatter-- the nouns do enough work to convey the terror!
ReplyDeleteThis is a clever little poem, and it is a good start to your monster/encyclopedia poem. It reminds me a bit of the one we discussed in class last week, where we all liked it pretty well but wanted to see what the monster looks like. That's where I'm at with this poem too. I want to SEE this monster!
ReplyDeleteWhen I presented this type of poem in class, I went over what these poems typically include. As a reminder, here's the list:
One: an origin story, two: supporting scholarly reference even if fake, three: poetic physical description of the being, four speculations on the “purpose” of the being, five: personal anecdote
I would love to see you expand this poem to include more of the elements of this type of poem. Where did this monster come from? What does it look like? If you lean into the analogy form more, this poem could be even better.
This is a pragmatically comical entry. (I think theres a typo in the first line - pry should be prey?) I like how you talk about all of the fears that many have of making small talk with people we dont know. A new way to combat it is to seem super engrossed in your phone too haha. Im not sure how I feel about the end becoming more like a WebMD entry then an encyclopedia entry..
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever and witty monster origin poem. You had me laughing.
ReplyDeleteMy main suggestion is to add some more imagery describing the monster. Also, where does it originate?
Some suggestions:
"Few have survived the encounter " - perhaps replace "the" with "an", because you are referring to a more general encounter than what the more specific article "the" refers to.
"those who were fortunate enough not to succumb to" - perhaps rephrase "not" as "those who were fortunate enough to resist the temptation of trivial weather discussions - sounds less awkward.
"simply looked at me" - perhaps refer to the speaker as "the author of this entry" - sounds more like an encyclopedic entry.
"This has been taken to be the best defense against these monsters" - perhaps replace "taken" with "accepted."
Nice job.
I'm actually liking that this isn't the typical monster poem -- because it's not. It's almost satire or parody. Such a great idea to choose small talk as your monster, because A) so true B) the irony amazing, like it literally has the word "small" in its name.
ReplyDeleteSome of my favorite descriptions in here are:
"its large demeanor and gaping jaw filled with idle chatter"
"and those who were fortunate enough not to succumb to trivial discussions about the weather, were left in no shape to tell the tale"
"the only cure is a pint of ice cream eating while watching Netflix"
"cuddling a small furry creature is recommended"
The wit in here is really sharp, and even though I don't have physical descriptions, the conceptual descriptiveness is very strong.
That said, I do miss the physical descriptions. Maybe after the third line, about the gaping jaw, leaves space to write about its physical characteristics, even weaving in more of the conceptual descriptions, like "red complexion, having sucked the blood from those still white in the face" (haha that's kind of bad and gross but you get what i mean)
I definitely want more, but this is a really great start.
LOOOOVEEE this poem! You take a real life issue and make light of it in a. cute and funny way, but also backed up with truth and I assume, personal experience. Perhaps a more vivid description of Small Talk would help the reader be able to better visualize it. The weather was a great example, because WE ALL can relate to that awkward "How's the weather in Florida" talk. I think the ending was strong , although maybe a bit extreme ? But it's your poem so it's your ending! Great job!
ReplyDelete