I really like this haiku. It does all the things that traditional haiku do. It has a cut (between lines two and three) and it makes a savvy seasonal reference to spring. I love the subtly humor here. The ancient haiku masters often used self-deprecating humor the way you do in this last line. It is funny to think of hiding from bees and summer insects, but in reality we do it some times. Or use excuses to stay inside when we feel we should go out. This is a very NYC thing to do. I like this haiku. Good job.
This is short but impactful: I like the balance in this haiku. I like how in each line you shift settings: In the first line I'm picturing blooming flowers, in the second I'm brought into the day of the bee, and in the third (the most drastic shift - though is there a particular word that does this? Does there need to be?) I'm brought to my own pathetic refuge in the living room. It's a great balance of nature's serenity and human humor
This a quaint but clever poem. This Haiku does everything right - it's unassuming, employs a cutting word, discussed nature, even throws in some humor for good measure. This Haiku truly employs a cutting word, a shift in some perspective or understanding - it is not until the third line that we understand the meaning behind the poem, that the author does not go outside and enjoy spring because of the bee - I thought the cutting word had to be a verb, and you've shown me that it can be a clever line. This is such a simple, unassuming Haiku - I think it's one of the best ones the class has produced so far. Excellent job.
This poem very beautifully fits the haiku form. It is simple, elegant, and unadorned, with very nice nature imagery. I liked the juxtaposition of the self (staying inside) and nature (flowering outside)
I love this haiku. I think it beautifully incorporates the nature focus and humor of the form. i like that you refer to summer as the day of the bee and though you dont have a cutting word i think your final line has the same effect by countering the mellow rise of summer the earlier 2 lines depict. job well done
I really like this haiku. It does all the things that traditional haiku do. It has a cut (between lines two and three) and it makes a savvy seasonal reference to spring. I love the subtly humor here. The ancient haiku masters often used self-deprecating humor the way you do in this last line. It is funny to think of hiding from bees and summer insects, but in reality we do it some times. Or use excuses to stay inside when we feel we should go out. This is a very NYC thing to do. I like this haiku. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThis is short but impactful: I like the balance in this haiku. I like how in each line you shift settings:
ReplyDeleteIn the first line I'm picturing blooming flowers, in the second I'm brought into the day of the bee, and in the third (the most drastic shift - though is there a particular word that does this? Does there need to be?) I'm brought to my own pathetic refuge in the living room.
It's a great balance of nature's serenity and human humor
This a quaint but clever poem.
ReplyDeleteThis Haiku does everything right - it's unassuming, employs a cutting word, discussed nature, even throws in some humor for good measure.
This Haiku truly employs a cutting word, a shift in some perspective or understanding - it is not until the third line that we understand the meaning behind the poem, that the author does not go outside and enjoy spring because of the bee - I thought the cutting word had to be a verb, and you've shown me that it can be a clever line.
This is such a simple, unassuming Haiku - I think it's one of the best ones the class has produced so far.
Excellent job.
This poem very beautifully fits the haiku form. It is simple, elegant, and unadorned, with very nice nature imagery. I liked the juxtaposition of the self (staying inside) and nature (flowering outside)
ReplyDeleteI love this haiku. I think it beautifully incorporates the nature focus and humor of the form. i like that you refer to summer as the day of the bee and though you dont have a cutting word i think your final line has the same effect by countering the mellow rise of summer the earlier 2 lines depict. job well done
ReplyDelete